Important Lesson
I decided to take part in a small group ministry offered by our church. Our first meeting was on Thursday, November 2nd. As always, I rode my bicycle there on a very chilly autumn night.
I purchased the book ‘With Purpose and Principle: Essays About the Seven Principles of Unitarian Universalism’. It was suggested as a companion to these gatherings – an aid to jump start the thought processes, if you will. Contained within Marilyn Sewell’s essay about Unitarian Universalism’s first principle - ‘We affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every human being’ - was this passage:
- Though our first principle is the foundation of our theological and relational lives in community, we must acknowledge that there are questions and contradictions that plague us. One of these questions emerges in regard to the tolerance we profess. Some Unitarian Universalists who have moved away from Christianity, but who have not yet resolved the painful experiences of their childhood faith, find it difficult to tolerate Christian Unitarian Universalists, or even the use of the Bible in a worship service. –
Wow. I’ve been giving non-forgiveness & intolerance towards Christians (and by extension, Christ) free rent inside my head for nearly 12 years now. Not healthy.
The ride home was beautiful. It was a clear, cold night and the moon was nearly full. I took a long route home to let my thoughts tumble by while my breath and cadence dialed in. Time to let the anger go. Pedal over pedal, the faces and places needing forgiveness make their appearance and received dismissal, but not forgiveness, not yet. I’ve gotten used to being angry, used to being indignant, used to being a victim. In a whir of tires, the houses roll by. I pick up the pace and my breath follows. Every inhalation is refreshing coolness and every exhalation welcome warmth inside the balaclava. Let the anger go. I’m a shadow moving fast and dark among the bright yellow halogen light kissed acers, their leaves most beautiful at the end of their lives. I’m new to this. Forgive does not mean forget. Remembering doesn’t have to include anger. The bike becomes my whipping boy and I beat it, and myself, in the process. I stop for a busy intersection and feel my heart racing, my breath an empty, steamy thought bubble. You can learn this…. Question mark or exclamation point?! Practice forgiveness, I hear. Yes you’ll fuck up, but practice forgiveness. I am Mrs. Turpin in Flannery O’Conner’s ‘Revelation’ screaming ‘Who do you think you are?’ across the fields.
The answer returns to me as it did to her, an echo.
I purchased the book ‘With Purpose and Principle: Essays About the Seven Principles of Unitarian Universalism’. It was suggested as a companion to these gatherings – an aid to jump start the thought processes, if you will. Contained within Marilyn Sewell’s essay about Unitarian Universalism’s first principle - ‘We affirm and promote the inherent worth and dignity of every human being’ - was this passage:
- Though our first principle is the foundation of our theological and relational lives in community, we must acknowledge that there are questions and contradictions that plague us. One of these questions emerges in regard to the tolerance we profess. Some Unitarian Universalists who have moved away from Christianity, but who have not yet resolved the painful experiences of their childhood faith, find it difficult to tolerate Christian Unitarian Universalists, or even the use of the Bible in a worship service. –
Wow. I’ve been giving non-forgiveness & intolerance towards Christians (and by extension, Christ) free rent inside my head for nearly 12 years now. Not healthy.
The ride home was beautiful. It was a clear, cold night and the moon was nearly full. I took a long route home to let my thoughts tumble by while my breath and cadence dialed in. Time to let the anger go. Pedal over pedal, the faces and places needing forgiveness make their appearance and received dismissal, but not forgiveness, not yet. I’ve gotten used to being angry, used to being indignant, used to being a victim. In a whir of tires, the houses roll by. I pick up the pace and my breath follows. Every inhalation is refreshing coolness and every exhalation welcome warmth inside the balaclava. Let the anger go. I’m a shadow moving fast and dark among the bright yellow halogen light kissed acers, their leaves most beautiful at the end of their lives. I’m new to this. Forgive does not mean forget. Remembering doesn’t have to include anger. The bike becomes my whipping boy and I beat it, and myself, in the process. I stop for a busy intersection and feel my heart racing, my breath an empty, steamy thought bubble. You can learn this…. Question mark or exclamation point?! Practice forgiveness, I hear. Yes you’ll fuck up, but practice forgiveness. I am Mrs. Turpin in Flannery O’Conner’s ‘Revelation’ screaming ‘Who do you think you are?’ across the fields.
The answer returns to me as it did to her, an echo.
posted by Woodog at 8:49 PM
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