Change
Well, it’s official. I’m no longer music director for the UU church here in Small Town Kentucky. I feel shell shocked, even though this is what I wanted. I think.
On 9/5 I talked to the Sunday Services committee (effectively my Boss) and talked to them about my feelings about being ‘the musician’ for the church. I told them about my ‘questions to the ether’, my wanting to sever the label that’s kept me apart. I suppose they heard ‘I’m quitting’.
The committee arranged another musician to take this past week’s service and they let me know this. When I went to church I had folks come up to me and relating to me in an odd way, different from the usual paradigm. Well, it was different since I was not playing, just attending.
This past Sunday the following insert was in the bulletin:
“Our music director, Woodog (not my real name), has stepped down from his position as music director. If you have musical talent, please let us know what you can do (play, sing, etc) and if you would be willing to serve as part of our musical service.”
I was surprised by this announcement. It is certainly what I wanted, but perhaps not so abruptly. Then again, I’m not sure what scenario I would have been comfortable with. Saying goodbye to an unhealthy relationship has always been difficult for me, especially one with which I have nearly 40 years experience with. During the ‘Joys and Concerns’ segment I felt the need to explain this to the congregation, saying that my spiritual search led me to feel that I didn’t need to be ‘the music guy’ but that I might be ‘a music guy’ from time to time. The concern was the way the announcement was worded. Folks might think something unseemly had happened (like voting Republican, owning stock in petrochemical companies or having an orgy with the youth group) or that there were bad feelings. There is, of course, none of this. I love my church, these people who’ve brought me back from a very dark place – this strange herd of cats, these Unitarian Universalists.
Still, even as I type this I feel unsettled. I’ve started a journey without a clear map or guide.
On 9/5 I talked to the Sunday Services committee (effectively my Boss) and talked to them about my feelings about being ‘the musician’ for the church. I told them about my ‘questions to the ether’, my wanting to sever the label that’s kept me apart. I suppose they heard ‘I’m quitting’.
The committee arranged another musician to take this past week’s service and they let me know this. When I went to church I had folks come up to me and relating to me in an odd way, different from the usual paradigm. Well, it was different since I was not playing, just attending.
This past Sunday the following insert was in the bulletin:
“Our music director, Woodog (not my real name), has stepped down from his position as music director. If you have musical talent, please let us know what you can do (play, sing, etc) and if you would be willing to serve as part of our musical service.”
I was surprised by this announcement. It is certainly what I wanted, but perhaps not so abruptly. Then again, I’m not sure what scenario I would have been comfortable with. Saying goodbye to an unhealthy relationship has always been difficult for me, especially one with which I have nearly 40 years experience with. During the ‘Joys and Concerns’ segment I felt the need to explain this to the congregation, saying that my spiritual search led me to feel that I didn’t need to be ‘the music guy’ but that I might be ‘a music guy’ from time to time. The concern was the way the announcement was worded. Folks might think something unseemly had happened (like voting Republican, owning stock in petrochemical companies or having an orgy with the youth group) or that there were bad feelings. There is, of course, none of this. I love my church, these people who’ve brought me back from a very dark place – this strange herd of cats, these Unitarian Universalists.
Still, even as I type this I feel unsettled. I’ve started a journey without a clear map or guide.
posted by Woodog at 10:06 PM
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